I had the incredible opportunity to attend Bethel Music Worship School this summer in Redding, California. If you are unfamiliar with this school, worshippers from all over the world come together for two weeks to invest in their calling and work on their craft. It is amazing that I even got the chance to attend. I had always wanted to, but thought, “I’m a mom with three kids and a very busy husband. There is no way I could leave for two weeks and travel to California.”
I think the Father likes it when we say, “There is just no way.” I somehow see Him saying, “Challenge accepted.” He opened doors so fast, I hardly had a chance to catch my breath. So, I boarded a plane and set off on my adventure. I didn’t know exactly what was awaiting me, but I rested knowing I was in the right place at the right time.
From the very first morning at school, God began to speak to my heart. To my total shock, one of the biggest things He showed me was that I had never really, 100% given Him my whole heart. I even tried arguing with Him that there was no way that could be true. But sure enough, He kindly showed me that there were pieces of my heart that I was safeguarding out of fear. What if I gave Him all of my heart and He breaks it? What if He decided one day He didn’t want it anymore? These were real fears of mine rooted in real hurts from my past.
I spent a lot of that first evening processing through what I was feeling. When I got to school the next morning, I needed some coffee desperately. Can I get an amen from all my coffee lovers out there? As I got out of my car to head to the church’s coffee shop, I felt a tug on my heart to go to the prayer house they have on campus. I obeyed. I sat down to pray, and He showed me another picture.
This time I saw a beautiful little girl. She didn’t look like me, but I knew she represented me. She was leaping into the arms of someone I knew very well. I watched her leap, in complete trust that she would be caught. No fear. No reservation. She just jumped. When she jumped, however, she fell right through this person’s arms, but the Father’s hands were waiting right below. He caught her instead. In that moment He began to teach me that He would catch me every time I jumped. He is trustworthy. It was okay to completely give my heart to Him because He would always catch me. He would protect my heart. Not only would He catch me in the future, but He had always caught me. Even when I couldn’t see Him, He has always been there. So much healing came in that moment.
I asked Him why the little girl didn’t look like me, but the person she was jumping toward was someone so personal. He said that this story was for everyone because it is what He does with all His children. He catches us. He protects our hearts. When others hurt us or fail us when we’ve trusted them, He has always been there with his arms open, catching us when we fall. I gave Him my whole heart that day and made a commitment to give Him my heart fresh and anew every day as an act of worship before Him.
Worship is so much more than twenty-five minutes on a Sunday morning. It is a daily, beautiful exchange of giving Him your whole heart and receiving His perfect love. The love that heals, restores and casts out all fear. As your act of worship today, I challenge you to ask Him if there are parts of your heart you are holding back. If He says, “yes”, picture yourself as that little child and leap into His arms.
Jennifer Brey
